Redneck Turkey Day & The Boy

I got an email from my brother-in-law the other day that listed items specific to Thanksgiving that would help you identify yourself as a Redneck. I'm sure none of this stuff ever happened in my family growing up, but I got a kick out of it so I'll post it here:

You Might Be A Redneck If ...
You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
You've ever re-used a paper plate.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best glasses have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You have an Elvis Jell-O mold.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.
(I added this one, but I think it is appropriate)
You think it is plum' crazy gettin' up at 5am to get the sales at the Wal-Mart, but gettin' up that early to kill some critter is LATE!

We started our family with two girls, then we added a boy. In conversation between my wife and I, we started referring to the children as "The Girls" and "The Boy." "Are the girls upstairs?" "What about the boy?" "What is the boy doing." These became common things to say about the children. One day, while driving through the fast food lane at the local McCalorie, I asked my wife if we should get Sprite or Orange pop for the girls. My son, from the back seat of the van, very loudly exclaimed, "The Boy wants Orange!" We felt bad that he had identified himself with that name, but I am using it here.

I started working on a workbench for the garage and have modified this plan if anyone is interested:
http://www.hammerzone.com/archives/workshop/bench/below20.html
Anyhow, I had the frame done and I was inside of it wanting to see if I was placing the last 2X4 square to the one next to it. The boy was helping me and having a great time, especially since he got to use the power drill and it was WAY past his bedtime. I don't know if you are familiar with a "speed square," but it is a plastic device used to check for "squareness." Here is one:

Anyhow, I needed it, and I asked my helper to hand me the square and I pointed to it lying on the floor. The boy is 4. He knows his shapes. He took one look at that little triangle lying on the floor, decided that his daddy must be an idiot, because anyone could tell that was not a square, and gave me the look to convey my stupidity. He didn't say anything. He just stood there looking at me like I had snakes coming out of my ears, and waited for me to fix what I had messed up. I quickly apologized and asked for the triangle. I started to explain why it was called a square, but he stopped me when he handed it off by saying (really quietly so no one could hear), "It's not a square dad."

Anyhow, happy turkey day!