Auto Flush Toilets are a Bad Idea ...

Yesterday, I attended a seminar with around 200 people and my work group. After the seminar, one of my coworkers approached me to relay the following story.

When you read this, I want you to pretend you are the star of the movie SPEED and instead of "this is what happened," think "this is the scenario ... what do you do?"

So my buddy goes into the men's room to relieve himself. This was a #2 job, and the bathrooms next to the conference area house 6-8 urinals and 4-6 toilets. This rest room is adjacent to the cafeteria and one of the building lobbies. Like I said, the seminar was attended by around 200 people and the cafeteria is a busy place, so as you might imagine, there was little room at the inn. When one of the stalls opened up, he went in and sat down. This is where you are supposed to start imagining and sweating with the decision that is upon you. Both of the adjoining stalls are occupied and as he sits down, his toilet auto-flushes. This is not an uncommon occurance, but when it happens, you normally just sit there and wait for the flush to finish and get on with your business. He mentioned that he really needed to go, but he was going to hold off until the flush finised, but for some reason he felt his behind get a little wet. This sometimes happens if the flush on that particular model of toilet is a little splashy. Then he noticed that it felt less like a splash and more like an attempt to submerg his hind end. When he looked down, he noticed that the toilet water was lipping. This means that the toilet has backed up and the water is cresting the bowl ... any more water displacement, and it is on the floor.

So, now he is completely stuck. If he stays on the seat, he can't actually relieve himself becasue it will overflow the bowl. If he tries to leave, the auto flush will trigger and will overflow the bowl. This is bad on a few counts. He will not have time to get his already wet butt dried and back into his pants, so he will have to spend the rest of the day with wet underwear. Because the bathroom is so crowded, there is no hope of overflowing the bowl without getting noticed. The guy waiting for the empty spot will notice as soon as he tries to make his claim. Not to mention the two sorry fellows sitting on either side of you. They are there minding their own business when all of a sudden they see water on the floor, slowly creeping towards their feet and clothing that may be hanging down enough and get wet ... or they might not notice until it is time to be done. You might think that in such a large crowded bathroom, it would be easy to go unnoticed as you make the mad dash to the door, but since he had no chance to actually relieve himself, the whole "mad dash" business is a little awkward.

Quick! What do you do? You have 10 seconds ...

This guy is actually a good waiter, and that is what he did. The water in the bowl slowly receeded and he stood up to dry off the bottom. The auto flush did trigger, but the water level reached just below the crest. No mad dashing to the door required here. I probably would have sat out the remainder of the day shift and waited until night fall.