Overdue Update ...

Happy Father's Day! Since the rest of the clan has been unhappy with the lack of photos/information from us over the past months, Zdenka and I took some quick ones of the family today and we're posting.
Family ...

Zerricko ... All smiles all the time. He has recently taken to removing all his clothes (diaper and all) when he wakes up from a nap. The first time he did it, he peed all over the crib and the floor, he threw his poop across the room, and when Zdenka cleaned it up, she said there were teeth marks!

Jenicka ... What a sweetie! She took a gymnastics class at the college before school ended, and is so glad to have her siblings home for the summer. Zdenka will have her in a mothers co-op preschool next year.

Kylicko ... Just finished T-Ball. "Last Batter!!" He really liked it and has enjoyed going to his sister's softball games too. He got to strike out his mom to boot! Next year is 1st grade and full days of school.

Abernacka ... Just donated her hair to Locks of Love! Next year is her last year of Grade School, and she is excited for summer. HJer plans include sleepovers, webkins, sleepovers, reading, sleepovers, travel, and did I mention sleepovers? Quite the social butterfly!

Branacka ... Had a great softball season and will be trying out for all-stars tomorrow. She gets to go to Middle School next year and enters Young Womens in October. Wow!

All the kids ... guess who's not happy to be in this photo!

Zbynek & Zdenka ...

NOT another worm bin. This is a compost bin that actually looks nice in the garden. The kids helped me put what we have together. I think this gave Zdenka some ideas and she wants me to do something like this for a BBQ surround when we build a deck sometime.

This is where we Elk hunted last year. Iron Mountatin. Yes, i dragged my sorry behind all the way to the top of this peak ... and then some.

Me and the truck I bought. And on top of it is the Elk I bagged this last year. What's that? You don't see one? Neither do I.

Sasquatch ...

For all of you who think I am a bad blogger, let me be one for you ...

My kid said something funny yesterday. I laughed. Hope you enjoyed that.

Now if I really were a bad blogger, that would be where my entry ended. But so as not to really make anyone angry, I will confess that I am not the best at keeping this thing up to date. But when I have something to say, I say it. So, let me tell you the whole story ...

We've been in the potty-training mode with our two-year-old for quite a while. It seems like the girls are exceedingly (you like that Alyssa?) better than the boys. She got interested in using the big-girl potty right after she turned two (last December), and she pretty-much has the peeing part down pat. It is the pooping that we've been having the issue with.

Most of the time, she will tell us that she needs to go right after she already went. More times than not, she’s on the potty going number-one, and without any prompting says in the most pathetic tone imaginable, “I don’ need go poo-poo!” We ask if she does, she says no, and about 10 minutes later she has messy panties.

Well, yesterday, I don’t really know what clicked, but she ended up actually pooping in the potty. It was rather large and a well fought fight, and when she was examining it afterward she said, “It’s a big snake! And it didn’t even bite me!” I don’t know where she got this idea of snake poop biting you when you go, but if that was what she was scared of, can you blame her? Talk about scary!

When I was in scouts, one of the scariest campfire stories ever told had absolutely nothing to do with Sasquatch. I was living in Florence, OR and our Stake had a 50-mile trek down the OR coast and dunes. It took 5 days and on one of the nights, a leader informed us that a prisoner had escaped from jail in a nearby town. This particular criminal had been on the run and could be in the woods nearby. The point of all this is that this criminal was rumored to have hidden away in the bowels of the campground outhouses, taken a sharpened spear down with him, and skewered his victims as they were relieving themselves. We all realized this was a pile of made-up hogwash, but no one used the campground outhouses for the rest of the trip.

The other story this brings to mind is what my middle son told me on one family trek across the state. We had relaxed and played at a city park in Sisters, OR, and as families do before setting out to continue their five-hour car ride, we all went to the potty. My son was around four at the time and still needed some accompaniment in the rest room ... 'cause they're public and kids have a driving need to touch everything. He was sitting on the pot and was done going number one. Someone else had entered the restroom and was using the urinal on the other side of our stall. I asked if he was all done, and he didn’t answer right away, but then said, “Yeah, I think so.”

At this point, I need to inform you of some anatomy. Boys have a PEEPER. I realize this isn’t the proper name for that extremity, but that’s what we call it in our house.

So, I ask my son if he was really done, or if he needed to go poo-poo. He responds, “No. I’m finking ‘bout saving up my poo-poos so my peeper gets longer so I can hit you wif it.” I have no idea where this idea came from. If guys could really make their peepers longer by just not pooping for a while, trust me, there would be a ton of permanently constapated guys out there. What I do know is that the guy peeing in the urinal on the other side of the wall heard my son’s response. I knew this because I heard him trying to not do two things: 1 – not laugh too loud so as not to embarrass my son, and 2 – not pee all over himself as he tried to regain his compose and finish the job.

Pixar Rival? ...

I just found a new Computer Graphics studio that was pretty cool. They are called Blur Studios and have several short films on YouTube. I have embedded them here for ease, but as always, if the user pulls the video, the link won't work.

This one is called "Gopher Broke." I liked it the most as it is the closest thing to the Pixar shorts I've seen.


This one is called "In The Rough." Some of the reviews said the storyline was weak, but I liked it as well.


"Rockfish" is a little more "Final Fantasy" style, but neat to see what is done. A little bit longer than the rest.


"A Gentelman's Duel" has a little bit of language and inuendo, but a funny storyline none-the-less.

My Son and Spock ...

We named my last child Zerrick Schuyler Jensen. We came to this name as follows:

My brother's name is Schuyler. He is named after our great uncle Schuyler Brown, who raised my grandmother and her sister as his own after their parents died. Pretty neat guy.

I have looked up to my brother for a long time, and wanted my son to have a name that reminded him of his uncle as well as my great uncle.

I have always liked names that start with Z. On my mission in Slovakia, I came across two Z names that I wanted for my children: Zbynek (boy) [Z-BEAN-EK] and Zdenka [Z-DAIN-KA] (girl). I decided that when I got married, we would have twins and name them this. My wife promptly thwarted this by not providing twins. (I know it was on purpose.) I relented and we have relegated these names to things like cars & pets. But, I still like Z names.

When Zerrick was born, I knew we wanted to name him after Schuyler, and I still really liked Zbynek Schuyler. Since Schuyler served his mission in Zurich Switzerland, we started playing with Zurich and got Zerrick.

So that is how we named him.

…

This last week at church, some old guy I've never seen before, after commenting on how cute Zerrick was asked his name. I told him and after a few moments of reflection said, "Isn't that Spock's Dad's name?"

And so it is that my son will forever be a nerd. Hippies name their kids after Flowers, Fruits, Vegetable, Weed, Granola, and other GREEN things. Nerds name their kids after Vulcans and Klingons.

(btw, Spock's Dad's name is Sarek … thus proving my point about nerds … most of my engineering peers at work, before reading this "btw," were poised to tell me Zerrick was not Spock's Dad's name ... again proving my point about nerds)

We did a little more work on the playset today.

This is where I was when I started this morning:















I put these together last night. The underground work was a little bit of trouble, but we had Mario and Luigi over to help and we got the job done.



And here is where we finished up today.

















We won't be sleeping out on it this evening as we have church at 10am tomorrow, but I have enough finished now that I can call it good for now.

We still have the roof to put on, the smaller tower to construct, the swing beam to laminate, the sandbox (+ lid), and the staining/wood treatment to do. Overall, it has been fun, but this baby is a lot taller than I thought it would be.

Playset Progress

I have begun building a playset for the kids this summer and there have been some requests for a progress report. I will do it with photos here:

Me just finishing up one frame:



A little bit taller than I was thinking:



Is that a booger already?



Being held together with 8 little clamps ... where would I be without them:



Screws and bolts in place:



As of today, here we are:

Magic Videos ...

I decided to post some magic videos from youtube here rather than search for them each time I want to see them ...

I liked this one because I like the trick itself as well as the music. OK, so the user pulled the video, but I still like the song. It is called Until the End by Breaking Benjamin:


This one is called Jazz Aces and I really like the way the presentation works:


This -n- That:


Don't like the fingernails on this guy, but it's a great trick:


I'll post more later.

Getting Sunburned ...

I spent the day working outside today. Mowing, weed-whacking, and raking up the mess. My son wanted to play in the pool when I was done, so I filled it up and we had a small water battle. After I got out of the shower, I realized that I must have been outside for quite a while, as my farmer’s tan was more red than brown. I reached the fridge and found the bottle of clear, green aloe inside. I opened the cap and was overwhelmed with the smell of the summers of my youth …

We had a time-share on a houseboat in Lake Powell, UT. Every summer, my family and two others would take two weeks and spend on the lake. One of the families had a ski boat, and we ended up combining our weeks together for convenience. The lake was huge with so many things to do.

I can remember stalking small lizards on the sandstone formations, grabbing them by their tails, and watching them scurry away with little stubs as I looked in awe at the tail I’d have wiggling in my clutches.

I can remember scouring the rock formations for small, round sandstone rocks we believed to be Indian marbles.

I can remember my cousin and his friend deciding they wanted an “all-over” tan. They snuck off somewhere in the rocks and laid out nude, only to fall asleep in the sun and return with “all-over” sunburns. Their dads thought it would be a good idea for them to go water skiing to serve as further reminder to not lay out naked in the sun.

I can remember fishing from the roof of the houseboat. One time, the Fish ‘n Game cops showed up and confiscated all of the fishing gear since not everyone had proper licensing. Another time, we had spent all day fishing without catching a single fish. We were just about ready to pack it in, when my oldest sister (the one just younger than me) started to reel in what was the biggest fish that I had ever seen. It turned out to be a Carp, but the largest fish ever anyhow, and her ticket to eternal bragging rights. Mostly, we would fish for Blue Gill. They were small, and really prickly, but they were good fighters and fun to catch.

I can remember waking up to screaming in the middle of the night. My brother and I had slept out in bags on the deck of the houseboat at night and he had rolled off into the water. No drowning, no death, just a lot of woke up people.

I can remember playing Blitz with all my friends. It was a card game where you tried to get 31 points of the same suit (aces worth 11, face cards worth 10, and all others at face value, knocking, and three of a kind) to win a round. Each person had three “lives” and when someone else won, you’d loose one. You really had 4 lives, since after your third loss, you were holding onto the horse’s tail until next time. When we played with the older kids, I was credited with loosing three times and then hanging onto the tail forever. I haven’t played that game in a very long time.

Mostly I remember the water. The water was the deepest blue-green I had ever seen. It was such a wonderful color. It was great for swimming, fishing, skiing, and playing. We dared each other to jump off rock formations into it. I learned to water ski on it. I got burned playing in it. I gained my independence in it.

I look back at the summers I spent in Lake Powell as the time when I was allowed to be on my own, learning to be me.

That’s what I smell when I open a bottle of aloe to put on my sunburn.

Auto Flush Toilets are a Bad Idea ...

Yesterday, I attended a seminar with around 200 people and my work group. After the seminar, one of my coworkers approached me to relay the following story.

When you read this, I want you to pretend you are the star of the movie SPEED and instead of "this is what happened," think "this is the scenario ... what do you do?"

So my buddy goes into the men's room to relieve himself. This was a #2 job, and the bathrooms next to the conference area house 6-8 urinals and 4-6 toilets. This rest room is adjacent to the cafeteria and one of the building lobbies. Like I said, the seminar was attended by around 200 people and the cafeteria is a busy place, so as you might imagine, there was little room at the inn. When one of the stalls opened up, he went in and sat down. This is where you are supposed to start imagining and sweating with the decision that is upon you. Both of the adjoining stalls are occupied and as he sits down, his toilet auto-flushes. This is not an uncommon occurance, but when it happens, you normally just sit there and wait for the flush to finish and get on with your business. He mentioned that he really needed to go, but he was going to hold off until the flush finised, but for some reason he felt his behind get a little wet. This sometimes happens if the flush on that particular model of toilet is a little splashy. Then he noticed that it felt less like a splash and more like an attempt to submerg his hind end. When he looked down, he noticed that the toilet water was lipping. This means that the toilet has backed up and the water is cresting the bowl ... any more water displacement, and it is on the floor.

So, now he is completely stuck. If he stays on the seat, he can't actually relieve himself becasue it will overflow the bowl. If he tries to leave, the auto flush will trigger and will overflow the bowl. This is bad on a few counts. He will not have time to get his already wet butt dried and back into his pants, so he will have to spend the rest of the day with wet underwear. Because the bathroom is so crowded, there is no hope of overflowing the bowl without getting noticed. The guy waiting for the empty spot will notice as soon as he tries to make his claim. Not to mention the two sorry fellows sitting on either side of you. They are there minding their own business when all of a sudden they see water on the floor, slowly creeping towards their feet and clothing that may be hanging down enough and get wet ... or they might not notice until it is time to be done. You might think that in such a large crowded bathroom, it would be easy to go unnoticed as you make the mad dash to the door, but since he had no chance to actually relieve himself, the whole "mad dash" business is a little awkward.

Quick! What do you do? You have 10 seconds ...

This guy is actually a good waiter, and that is what he did. The water in the bowl slowly receeded and he stood up to dry off the bottom. The auto flush did trigger, but the water level reached just below the crest. No mad dashing to the door required here. I probably would have sat out the remainder of the day shift and waited until night fall.

Redneck Turkey Day & The Boy

I got an email from my brother-in-law the other day that listed items specific to Thanksgiving that would help you identify yourself as a Redneck. I'm sure none of this stuff ever happened in my family growing up, but I got a kick out of it so I'll post it here:

You Might Be A Redneck If ...
You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
You've ever re-used a paper plate.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best glasses have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You have an Elvis Jell-O mold.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.
(I added this one, but I think it is appropriate)
You think it is plum' crazy gettin' up at 5am to get the sales at the Wal-Mart, but gettin' up that early to kill some critter is LATE!

We started our family with two girls, then we added a boy. In conversation between my wife and I, we started referring to the children as "The Girls" and "The Boy." "Are the girls upstairs?" "What about the boy?" "What is the boy doing." These became common things to say about the children. One day, while driving through the fast food lane at the local McCalorie, I asked my wife if we should get Sprite or Orange pop for the girls. My son, from the back seat of the van, very loudly exclaimed, "The Boy wants Orange!" We felt bad that he had identified himself with that name, but I am using it here.

I started working on a workbench for the garage and have modified this plan if anyone is interested:
http://www.hammerzone.com/archives/workshop/bench/below20.html
Anyhow, I had the frame done and I was inside of it wanting to see if I was placing the last 2X4 square to the one next to it. The boy was helping me and having a great time, especially since he got to use the power drill and it was WAY past his bedtime. I don't know if you are familiar with a "speed square," but it is a plastic device used to check for "squareness." Here is one:

Anyhow, I needed it, and I asked my helper to hand me the square and I pointed to it lying on the floor. The boy is 4. He knows his shapes. He took one look at that little triangle lying on the floor, decided that his daddy must be an idiot, because anyone could tell that was not a square, and gave me the look to convey my stupidity. He didn't say anything. He just stood there looking at me like I had snakes coming out of my ears, and waited for me to fix what I had messed up. I quickly apologized and asked for the triangle. I started to explain why it was called a square, but he stopped me when he handed it off by saying (really quietly so no one could hear), "It's not a square dad."

Anyhow, happy turkey day!